If you know me personally, you’ve already heard our big news: After 18 years in Silicon Valley, we’re moving to Monterey!
The obvious questions: What about work? What about friends?
Sachin and I are fully remote—we’ll continue running Notejoy, Sachin is creating courses on Reforge, and I’ll continue my work coaching founders. As for friends, Monterey is only 90 minutes south. Come visit!
We’ve debated this move endlessly, and I want to share our thought process as well as the three factors that drove the decision.
Relationships Matter
Our biggest fear: Losing our Bay Area friends. The people and conversations here are a treasure—the smartest people I know who always leave me energized and buzzing with ideas.
The reality: We rarely see them. Between work, traffic, and young kids, finding time together is #scheduleJenga. A decent amount of my relationships have already shifted to calls and occasional meetups.
Our plan: Proactively build community in Monterey. The people we’ve met are friendly, interesting, and less hurried. Plus, we can maintain existing friendships digitally and through visits.
Following Our Values
My core values haven’t changed (relationships, growth, achievement), but how we spend time has shifted:
- Personal health is now a priority
- Time with our daughter Zoe is a priority
- Career is a steady drumbeat, important but less all-consuming
The move to Monterey is a way to design our life around these changes. Our happy place is next to the ocean on hiking trails.
Why Monterey fits:
- Daily access to Big Sur hikes and ocean runs
- Less hurried, friendlier community
- Bay Area and airports are still accessible (90 minutes away)
Silicon Valley Parenting Is Intense
Prior to this, we’re resigned ourselves to the thought that while Monterey is our happy place, this would be a retirement move because we couldn’t uproot our daughter Zoe. The Bay Area’s educational seemed too rich and valuable, why would you raise a child anywhere else?
What changed our minds: After touring schools and talking to parents in both areas, we realized Bay Area parenting is really intense. Even in kindergarten, there’s underlying paranoia about kids falling behind. Did you know that Susie is already reading chapter books? Billy goes to jujitsu for an hour every day! Parents are hiring tutors, booking extracurricular classes, and constantly pushing the envelope to keep up.
Our philosophy: While some kids attend summer academic camps, we don’t want to pursue supplementation from a place of fear and competitiveness. Rather, our philosophy is to invest in academics and activities aligned with Zoe’s interests. We would love to raise a high-performing, compassionate human who is pursuing her passions.
The breakthrough: We found a school aligned with our priorities—fostering curiosity, maintaining academic rigor, and building character. We also verified Monterey has a rich ecosystem of extracurriculars.
Living Life Intentionally
Unlike many moves driven by external factors, we’re making an intentional choice. There’s risk, but I’m guided by two questions:
- What’s the worst thing that could happen? We could move back after a few years.
- What’s the best thing that could happen? We could be in a more optimized, happy place aligned with our values.
I’m excited for the chapter ahead!